Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Breathe in. Blow into this blog. 1 ventilation, save it from boredom.
hven blogged here for quite long. haha...hols, enjoying to some small extent. Finished my stp application after delaying for so long. so many things happened these few days/weeks/wadsoever. i see a change in myself. not a big one. but a change for the better perhaps. and also...a lot of other stuff which i dun wish to disclose. but, one's mind tend to stray when it's free to roam, like sending a dog to the streets and it'd probably bring back junk. so, nothing significant/worth talking about.
people move on, the world revolves. i find myself suddenly moving on. perhaps when one's down he walks backwards. haha. the whole world tells me to change my hair style. woo.
something innate perhaps, something unchangeable, something inborn, ingrained in me. my blog entries cant be as bubbly as yours. U do a curtsy when the lime light falls on u while i sneak away. U hold on to attention while i rub everything off and get things over and done with. How sadly, we're different eh? Then how did everything start? How did everything end? Who changed? Who turned his/her back first on the other? Me? u? Im crazy for answers, and view things in mathematical language. U like this, i try to get it for u/do it for u. but i still dunno wad u wan. and what i din wan, i did. haha. Perhaps the earliest horror film scriptwriters were like me, and decided that spirits wander in search of answers to their life, and then reincarnate. lols. i tink im edging on with every step now. Dun just turn away from me k. Im pulling a truck! one day i will break free from this load and sprint like the wind. that would be the day i find an answer to everything that i can accept, or when the question has been lingering for far too long that it disappears by default.
Till then, what will i have become?
If change is the only constant, then change is my only fear. I cant find myself if i stray too far. i cant bring myself to love another. not until i hv fulfilled this promise that no one bothers to look at. Not u, at least. no girl will wait as long for me. so its between having a partner in later life, and keeping my promise. One day i will laugh at myself, but i will remember this day, when i struggled between two options. i hven got an answer.
steel coated;
posted @ 1:15 am
